Track 2 - Boys and Girls by Pineapple Sue

These guys sure are giving Relient K a run for their money. Here, they give up deep social commentary on the state of the global community in favor of the more close-to-home observation that “boys and girls, they will never understand each other better.” We don’t know what that means. Pineapple Sue also seems to have come to the conclusion that their brilliant lyrics will be better served if they sing OVER their instruments rather than WITH. 

We’ve got a guest commentator with us today, Elras the Music Snob. He’ll be working with us occasionally to add his pretentiousness to our hilarity. Also, he’s gonna straight get you arrested.

Elras: You know, I kind of want to turn this off, then come back in a few years and listen to these guys when the singer’s balls have dropped. Sometimes I have trouble with girls too, but my first instinct isn’t to write a song about it, and even if I did it wouldn’t be a bad song, so I guess I’m ahead of him on all counts. And come on, just say ”more better.” You know that’s what he wanted to say, the lyricist just couldn’t make it scan. I’m going to be honest, this is the most boring thing including electric guitar that I’ve ever heard. You know how in the Middle Ages, the alchemists were trying to find the essence of a thing, the purest form of the thing, instantly recognizable as that thing, that thing and nothing else. That’s what this song is, the essence of derivative pop-punk. This could be a different song, and I wouldn’t notice. There’s no hook, no variation. It’s like a social experiment, an attempt to write the quintiseential pop punk song: “I don’t get girls. Here’s a three chord progression. Here’s another one. There’s your song!” It’s like a derivation of a derivation. If the Clash was straight whiskey, this would be a shitty fruity margarita that some guy tries to get you drunk on at a high school party. That song was just so terrible. I’m not usually into ornamental writing, but I want to track down whoever wrote these lyrics and forcibly tattoo a list of adverbs and adjectives on his chest. Yes, forcibly tattoo. That’s how I’m solving all my problems from now on.

This is the first track on “Live Life One Pineapple At A Time.” It is called “What’s Happening To The World?” We love the edgy and fresh lyrics, especially “Why is everyone so freaking lame?” These guys are going to be the next Bono, with their heartfelt concern for the human condition and their incisive social commentary. 

Carlyn and I love the way the first stanza remains so faithful to the rhyme scheme but they abandon their dedication by the second stanza, figuring assonance is just as acceptable. We do have to point out, though, that if you’re “still waiting for the world to change today,” at least you won’t have to wait very long.

This is a CD called “Live Life One Pineapple At A Time” by a band called Pineapple Sue. We’ve posted the picture from the inside cover because the album cover is just plain white with a pineapple on it and the name of the album and band in a trendy black font. The inside cover reads: 

Our thank u’s:
Our Heavenly Father, our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, families, friends, the church of Rotebro, Andreas Nordqvist, the church of Immanuel, Rissne rock cafe, Rune Olsson, Majbritt & Tomas Lannfjall, Christian Rivell at Bilda, and especially YOU, listening to our music.

You’re very welcome, little Swiss Christians. 

What really sold us was the photo of the four band members objectifying their hairless adolescent bodies with pineapples. Whose mother took that photo? We’d love to have been there for that photo shoot.