Track 2 - Boys and Girls by Pineapple Sue
These guys sure are giving Relient K a run for their money. Here, they give up deep social commentary on the state of the global community in favor of the more close-to-home observation that “boys and girls, they will never understand each other better.” We don’t know what that means. Pineapple Sue also seems to have come to the conclusion that their brilliant lyrics will be better served if they sing OVER their instruments rather than WITH.
We’ve got a guest commentator with us today, Elras the Music Snob. He’ll be working with us occasionally to add his pretentiousness to our hilarity. Also, he’s gonna straight get you arrested.
Elras: You know, I kind of want to turn this off, then come back in a few years and listen to these guys when the singer’s balls have dropped. Sometimes I have trouble with girls too, but my first instinct isn’t to write a song about it, and even if I did it wouldn’t be a bad song, so I guess I’m ahead of him on all counts. And come on, just say ”more better.” You know that’s what he wanted to say, the lyricist just couldn’t make it scan. I’m going to be honest, this is the most boring thing including electric guitar that I’ve ever heard. You know how in the Middle Ages, the alchemists were trying to find the essence of a thing, the purest form of the thing, instantly recognizable as that thing, that thing and nothing else. That’s what this song is, the essence of derivative pop-punk. This could be a different song, and I wouldn’t notice. There’s no hook, no variation. It’s like a social experiment, an attempt to write the quintiseential pop punk song: “I don’t get girls. Here’s a three chord progression. Here’s another one. There’s your song!” It’s like a derivation of a derivation. If the Clash was straight whiskey, this would be a shitty fruity margarita that some guy tries to get you drunk on at a high school party. That song was just so terrible. I’m not usually into ornamental writing, but I want to track down whoever wrote these lyrics and forcibly tattoo a list of adverbs and adjectives on his chest. Yes, forcibly tattoo. That’s how I’m solving all my problems from now on.
